


How To Become Educated In The Art Of Homosexuality

by justhavesex



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2018-01-21 08:03:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1543592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justhavesex/pseuds/justhavesex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world ends on a Thursday when Kageyama accidentally kisses Hinata during practice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How To Become Educated In The Art Of Homosexuality

 

 

How To Become Educated In The Art Of Homosexuality: Hinata Shouyou

 

 

**

 

 

" _Hinata_ ," Kageyama growls, voice low and unimpressed and Hinata takes a timid step back. Not because he's necessarily  _scared_  of Kageyama, just he's scared because he knows he could've hit that shot but he missed because of stupid reasons like—watching his teammate hit the ball towards him?—and really the whole situation is kind of questionable.

So he squeezes his eyes shut tight, hoping that Kageyama will at least leave his body recognizable when he's done with him.

 _Hopefully_.

Except there isn't any insults flung at him, instead he feels two hands wrap around the base of his neck and Kageyama bumps his forehead against his, sturdy and light. In one breath, he asks, "What's wrong? Where the hell is your head today, shorty?"

He's a bit touchy about his height so without thinking he tip-toes up, head arching back and 100% ready to give that damned egoistic bastard a piece of his mind, really, he was. Except, he goes still, body turning into stone as something light and  _soft_  brushes against his lips, both his eyes snapping open wide, just to see Kageyama's own eyes becoming large himself.

It takes about 4 seconds for the whole situation to process because—

 _HolyshitI'mkissingKageyamaandI'mreallygoingtodiethisismyend_.

In a brief moment his entire life flashes behind his eyes. And Kageyama's own look goes from stunned, to something that seems identical to someone with homicidal intent. Directed towards him. He makes a small ' _eep_ ' sound from the back of his throat, jumping backwards and their lips dis-connecting with a sloppy wet sound, and there's this dark furry coiling around Kageyama, his fists clenching and unclenching.

"You two are dating?!" Nishinoya yells, eyes practically bugging out of his head, and Suga hisses something about 'be quiet, idiot!' and the gym suddenly becomes colder. Hinata shivers. Really, he could do a lot of things right now, like run for his life, or maybe go get a new name and identity and move to another country, or he could just laugh it off as he accident caused by ( ~~um, him~~ ) Kageyama and that they aren't homo for each other. At all.

"I've always heard of homo's but I've never met some," Tanaka says with awe. "How long you guys? Not very long since you haven't known each other—or, did you two come to same school because—"

"Have you two done it?" Tsukishima interrupts, and the room suddenly goes from cold to freezing.

 _Time to move countries_ , Hinata thinks sourly.

Suddenly, Kageyama's head snaps up, eyes blank with a cruel smirk on his face. He gulps, back going stiff as Kageyama takes long strides towards him, eyes keeping on him with a look of cruel intent. Kageyama swings an arm around his shoulder, and he thinks for a moment he's going to strangle him with a bunch of witnesses, but something even worse happens.

"Yeah. We've only been dating for a week though."

" _What_?" Multiple people chorus at once.

 

 

**

 

 

 

"What the hell do you mean we're dating?!" Hinata yells, arms flailing all over the place once the change room is emptied out just leaving him and his so-called boyfriend alone. To talk. About their sudden relationship.

Kageyama doesn't even look at him, "Revenge."

He has to take a step back at that, he always knew Kageyama was a shrewd person but he never pinned him as the type to lie just to get back at someone for accidentally kissing them. It  _was_  Kageyama's fault too, the bastard called him short. But then again, he should've known, Kageyama is the type to do anything to win. This is merely like a stain in a white shirt to him, something easily won.

"This isn't a game, you know, everyone is going to think we're  _actually_  dating. As in kissing and doing things like," his face goes hot but he can't back down now, "S—sex."

Kageyama's head snaps back, eyes large and looking at him in confusion. "What?"

"Well what else do couples do! That's why Tsukishima-kun asked if we've ' _done it_ '!"

"Two guys can't  _do_  it." Kageyama says more strongly, leaving no room for conviction.

A few things blur pass Hinata's eyes, memories of sneaking into one of his girl friend's rooms, going under her bed and picking up and manga and opening it to a page where a guy was shoving his  _dick_  up another guys ass. A few gay porno video's later, and many other things Hinata has conveniently blanked from his memory. Then,  _holy shit he doesn't know about gay sex_.

"What?" Hinata squeaks, "Of course they can! It's called anal,  _anal_."

Really in all his life he never thought that he'd be the one teaching Kageyama about gay sex—and really he doesn't want to be—but he can't just simply allow the damned spoiled King be ignorant his entire life. Who knows, maybe Kageyama's so cranky because he's gay and doesn't know it and—threading on dangerous thoughts. Dangerous thoughts.

Kageyama's face falls to that of a horrified look.

"Oh."

With that he picks up his back pack, not quite meeting Hinata's eyes as he grumbles something about going home. Urgently. Hinata doesn't bother to stop him.

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

"How's the lovely couple doing?" Tanaka is his usual cheerful self, and he's beating up Hinata's back repetitively as usually. Nothing's really changed except well.

"We aren't dating, he was just kidding and—"

"So you didn't answer my question, shorty, did you and the fallen King have sex yet? Though I guess a week isn't very long." Tsukishima's voice is monotone, not even bothering to look at Hinata because he's too busy looking over at Kageyama with heat in his eyes, obviously trying to rile him up through Hinata now that he thinks that they're dating.

"Um," Hinata ends up choking on air, and Tanaka's laugh just becomes more boisterous. Echoing throughout the gym with Yamaguchi's paling face.

"No. We haven't." Said King snaps angrily, leaving a cold awkward chill throughout the gym. Hinata can't stand it, everyone trying to look anywhere then at them, and eventually he breaks the silence.

"So, uh, about that match coming up...?" He tries, and succeeds. Tanaka jumps on the opportunity easily, chatting his ear off endlessly about the opposing team and how they're going to destroy them now that Asahi is back on their side, and that Nishinoya is going to be there, and that they can't possibly lose. And he can't help but agree, except, his eyes wander over to Kageyama's, who's staring at the floor furiously, obviously lost in some sort of thoughts.

It unnerves him because it's never a good thing once Kageyama starts thinking.

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

 

"Hinata." He falls forward, face hitting the ground with an ungraceful ' _ummph_ ' and he only manages to get up, limbs still flailing all over the place before he blinks at the person that called him, Tsukishima, standing at the entrance of the gym, a scowl on his face.

"What's up?" He asks hesitantly. He's not sure how he should feel about being alone and talking with Tsukishima because the guy is bit of an ass and he hasn't stopped cracking gay jokes ever since Kageyama claimed that they're "dating"—even though Kageyama has been avoiding him like the plague ever since—and he has a feeling Tsukishima's persistent comments about sex is what's causing at least one third of Kageyama's awkwardness towards him.

Tsukishima diverts his eyes, coughing into his fist as he throws a large, white medical looking book to the floor. "Here. Just. Daichi-senpai said if I was going to tease you two I should at least  _educate_  you losers." With that he scurries off, not leaving Hinata any room to thank him or question him about the odd book sitting idly on the middle of the gym floor.

He stands up, walking towards the book and bending over to reach it but, just as he stands up he catches a different figure standing at the gym entrance.

"Practicing so late?" Kageyama asks, eyes diverted and cheeks red.

"Uh, yeah..." Hinata settles for. He could say a lot of things like 'How dare you avoid me you bastard!' but it all dies in his throat when Kageyama turns his eyes on him, or well, more specifically, on the book he's holding.

Hinata lays the book flat on his palms, staring at it.

There's a long, awkward pregnant pause.

"I can explain." Hinata tries for first, because how else should he commend for the fact that he's holding a giant book called ' _Best Ways To Master Gay Sex_ ' in bold print. Bold, black and gold print with a clear picture of two guys kissing on the cover. He drops the book, as though it just burnt his hands and looks desperately at Kageyama, hoping the sincerity in his eyes is enough to convey his thoughts and—

It all really goes askew when Kageyama picks up the book, puts in his bag and walks off without another word.

"Um," Hinata tries for, staring at the entrance and wondering just what the hell happened.

 

 

**

 

 

 

Maybe he's getting sensitive because the word 'Sex' and 'Kageyama' pop up in sentences way too often for his liking. Or maybe he's going insane. But he has a vague feeling as though Kageyama is  _watching_  him. Not just glimpsing at him there and now, but he's actually just stopping in the middle of practice, or stopping in the middle of changing to just sit there and stare at Hinata with wide curious eyes.

And of course he isn't the first person to notice this, either.

"Kageyama stop staring at Hinata-kun and  _practice_!" Daichi hollers, but apparently the words just fly over Kageyama's head because he's just standing there. Staring at Hinata. Eyes glued on him with little fires flickering within his eyes. He's tried staring back, seeing if Kageyama realizes he's caught him staring, but just like a egoistic bastard he is, he doesn't realize. Just continuing on in his own little King head, making everyone else on the team uncomfortable as he possibly can.

What's worse is that Tsukishima's been tossing balls at his head for the past 10 minutes—and Hinata's pretty sure Tanaka and Tsukishima have made a game kind of like leaning tower where they take turns throwing seeing who get's caught first—and something is obviously wrong with Kageyama.

First the gay sex book and now staring.

He's not really sure if he should laugh or cry.

"And for the love of god you guys,  _stop_  throwing balls at his head."

At this Tsukishima crackles, "I'm sure the King here would love some balls. Specifically Hinata's bal—"

At this Kageyama wakes up, as though slapped across the face when a volleyball hits him square in the cheek courtesy of Tanaka. But the strange part is that even with Tanaka shivering and ready to go to Hell, Kageyama storms right past him and grabs Tsukishima from the front of his plain white t-shirt.

"What did you say?"

Tsukishima blinks, unfazed.

"That Hinata has lovely balls."

Kageyama growls, low and  _possessive_  and Hinata stands there. Frozen. Because in the next moment.

"How dare you touch him, he's  _mine_!"

"What." Hinata squeaks.

Tanaka falls backwards.

Shimizu drops her clipboard just as she enters the gym.

Daichi sighs.

 

 

**

 

 

 

Suga apparently decides him and Kageyama have been avoiding whatever issue they have going on, should be solved, and abruptly shoves them into the change room. And locks them in there.

Really, he feels his throat is almost swollen and Kageyama isn't saying anything even though if he's being completely honest it's Kageyama that's being weird and unreasonable.

"We should go on a date." Kageyama decides, pulling out his wallet and looking up hopefully at Hinata with a pathetic, but sturdy expression. Something suiting of royalty, really. He's speechless.

"What?" Hinata asks, hoping this time he'll be answered because everything is just plain strange.

"Well, we are dating," Kageyama gives him this ' _duuuh_ ' look, looking down at him with one arched eyebrow. Hinata is tempted to punch him, but decides against it because Suga did lock them in here to solve all their issues.

"Right," might as well play along because Kageyama is a King and there's no point in denying him. "But why have you been avoiding me?"

"I was studying." Kageyama says more shyly, and in that one moment the whole world crashes down on Hinata in understanding.

"Gay sex?" He squeaks.

Kageyama nods shyly.

Somewhere, he hears the Gods laughing at him as the whole world just imploded.

 

 

 

** 

 

His eyes snap open, breath rigid and rough as he pants, eyes boring into the ceiling.

"Ah, just a bad dream..." Just as he turns over and see's a naked Kageyama laying in his bed.

He screams.

**Author's Note:**

> ... im not even sorry.  
>  Leave some lurv babies. And i kinda wish i wrote more for this buuuut i think ill make like a small little sequel of like Kageyama freaking 0ut because hes becoming gay and hinata is like the epitome of his dreams--wet dreams---and maybe then ill write some volleyball smut. ACTUSLLY I WAS THINKING OF WRITING AN OMEGAVERSE FIC FOR THEM OMG YAAAS ... right, on topic, not sorry. Goodbye.


End file.
